I hope ya flip some guy the bird
He cuts you off and youre forced to swerve
In front of the beatles tour bus
A bookmobile and a mack truck
Hauling hazardous biological waste
The light turns red you have no brakes
And hard copy gets it all on tape
So you can see the look on your face
Die die die die die die die
Die die die die die die die
I hope your pinto begins to spin
Takes out a disabled vietnam veteran
Mows down a nobel peace prize winner
And maybe some orphans having christmas dinner
Perhaps even the british royal family
And the rabbi thats clutching the bottle-fed puppy
And we cant forget the newlyweds
And those jerrys kids are as good as dead
I hope this helps to emphasize
I hope this helps to clarify
I hope you die
I hope your cellmate thinks hes god
But c.n.n. refer to him as bowling ball bag bob
Serving time again for abuse of a corpse
Only this time the victims a clydesdale horse
While he masturbates to photos of livestock
He does the silence of the lambs dance to christian rock
Eats feces and quotes from deliverance
And fights with his imaginary playmate vince
Die die die die die die die
Die die die die die die die
I hope he grins like jack nicholson
And forces you to play a game called balls on chin
And whatever happens next is all a blur
But you remember fist can be a verb
And when you finally regain consciousness
Youre bound and gagged in a wedding dress
And the prison guard looks the other way
cause hes the guy ya flipped the bird the other day
I hope this helps to emphasize
I hope this helps to clarify
I hope you die
I hope you die
(ephemeral)
I don’t know why I’m feeling the way I am. I’ve hit a depressive low is the most likely answer. Then again, with the news that I might/probably really, truly have systemic lupus has kind of left me feeling like I’m at the end of my rope. I mean what else can go wrong with me? I’m a fucking invalid – and I don’t just mean that in the sense that I’m sick, both with a mental illness and several physical ones, but that I’m not valid anymore because of these things. I don’t matter. I’m a drain. I’m a burden. I’m worthless.
I wrote something earlier this morning – way earlier. It was a Google Document that I shared with my husband in regard, at least in part, to this sinking feeling that I have. I feel as though it’s affecting him and I. I feel the fire’s gone out. I feel it’s my fault.
I’ve never been one to stay down for long, but this is driving me crazy. I guess it’s time for me to do things – anything, really – to get my mind off of it. Walking up and down stairs is a pain, physically, because my joints all hurt like hell, but I think I’ll work on cleaning up our room, at least somewhat, and start working on the mountain of clothes that need to be put away or something. I’m also going to take care of myself a little, clean up and try to cheer up via that. It sometimes works. I’ve got to reply to Candice about the state job she found. I need to reply to the invitation to bid on a project that someone requested. I should look through the freelancing site and see if I find anything I want to bid on and cross my fingers. I wish the other things there hadn’t fallen through, but whatever. What’s past and done is past and done and over.
I feel like I’m dragging my hubby down. And I can’t and shouldn’t do that. I need to stop it. Somehow.
(ephemeral)
el amor de mi vida, mi marido, que llena mi alma, es uno de los más bellos internamente las personas que conozco. Soy tan afortunado de ser su! Sé que soy afortunado. muchas personas no llegar a casarse con su verdadero amor, su mejor amigo, su alma gemela. yo lo hice. i sólo habló con él sobre el teléfono por primera vez desde que dejó de trabajar el día de hoy. su voz, tan bella, me hace derretir. aunque sólo voy a llegar a verlo durante unos minutos antes tengo que ir, esta noche cuando vuelvo, tenemos la casa a nosotros mismos y hacer un uso correcto de él! Yo nunca pensé que sentiría de esta manera a alguien o que yo podía, pero yo lo hago. él es la persona más maravillosa que he conocido. él me ama más de lo que pensaba que nadie podría nunca. él me apoya a través de gruesos y finos. la manera en que yo siempre he querido ser amado, él me ama así. la forma en que siempre he amado, él me ama así. la forma en que yo pensaba el amor debe ser, él me ama así. ¿Qué hice para merecer tal cosa increíble? Cuento mi suerte estrellas y les doy las gracias por él caer de nuevo en mi vida.
(the love of my life, my husband, who fills my soul, is one of the most internally beautiful people I know. I’m so lucky I’m his i know i’m fortunate. not many people get to marry their true love, their best friend, their soul mate. i did. i just spoke to him on the phone for the first time since he left for work today. his voice, so beautiful, makes me melt. though i’ll only get to see him for a few minutes before i have to go, tonight when i return, we have the house to ourselves and will make proper use of it! i never thought i would feel this way for someone or that i could, but i do. he is the most wonderful person i’ve ever met. he loves me more than i thought anyone ever could. he supports me through thick and thin. the way i’ve always wanted to be loved, he loves me like that. the way that i’ve always loved, he loves me like that. the way that i thought love should be, he loves me like that. what did i do to deserve such an amazing thing? i count my lucky stars and thank them for him falling back into my life.)