So, my younger brother, whom I love despite his many major character flaws and despite his apparent hatred of me, was asked by my Dad – at my behest – if he’d like to come to my birthday/housewarming party (which is March twenty-first, for those of you interested in coming). Why did I ask him through my Dad? Well, first of all because since my phone died I lost his phone number in the process, which means that I couldn’t ask him directly myself. I wasn’t about to ask Dad to give me his number, either, because I know how my brother would react if he found out that Dad supplied his number to me. Second, I miss my brother. Like I said, I love him. He’s not easy to love, nor does he make it easy to love him, but that hasn’t stopped me for one second. He’s my blood. When we were little kids we had a great sibling relationship. I was always standing up for him because that’s what older siblings do, especially (at least in my experience, but then again that’s limited) big sisters. If someone threatened him and I found out about it, boy were they in trouble because they had to deal with me. And, yeah, I was a geek even then, but I could hold my own, which I did many a time.
Last summer we started to develop a friendship again. Then because of some stupid miscommunication he got pissed off at me and decided that he didn’t want anything to do with me again. He told me to lose his number and not talk to him, which I did, albeit by accident with the first part of it. It hurt. It was hard not calling him, but I respected his wishes (because that’s what I do) and didn’t call him again. I know that he’s got issues. I don’t care. I just wish that I didn’t seem to fumble every time I get a chance to be his friend, to be his sister. The thing is that when he needed me the most I proved that I could and would be there for him because I was. Even after the initial crisis was over, I showed up and stood by him and our Dad because it was important to him to have the support of family. Even though I didn’t agree with what he did in the first place, the thing that landed his ass in a sling, I saw that he realized that the whole thing had been a massive fuck up on his part. That meant a lot to me as well as to our Dad.
Dad told me tonight that he’s asked my brother to give him a yes or no answer by March fourteenth, which is a week before the party. The thing is that I expected my brother to just say no outright, but he didn’t. He didn’t say yes, either, but more importantly he didn’t dismiss it. He’s thinking about it.
I honestly hope that he says yes and actually follows through and shows up. It’ll be interesting to introduce my brother to my friends. I know he doesn’t like loud noise, so this could get interesting. We’ll see. But my fingers are crossed with all hope on a positive outcome. Rebuilding the bridge would mean a lot, at least to me, and I think at some level it would mean a lot to him, too.
(ephemeral)