[.l.o.s.t././.i.n././.t.r.a.n.s.l.a.t.i.o.n.]

Since I’m terribly bad at updating here – and elsewhere, for that matter, I’m giving those of you who care yet another way to peek into some of the corners of my dark life. Hopefully, I’ll get back into the regular routine of updating Plurk on a semi-daily basis. However, given the enormous tidal wave of . . . stuff . . . that’s hit my life of late even that may turn out to be a feat in and of itself. Things have been so chaotic and topsy-turvey that even my much beloved Bipolar World Cafe has gone by the wayside where my regular participation is concerned. Some things occupying my time are good, whereas others I’d ask that this cup be taken from my lips, to get Biblical for a minute. Anyhow, below is a mini-timeline of my Plurk posts. Enjoy!

A friend of mine, Rob, pointed out in a recent e-mail that I actually hadn’t updated this thing with any real news in some time. So, here I shall make an attempt to do so, although with everything that’s happened in the last few months it’s not going to be an easy undertaking.

Business is dead slow right now, so I’m looking for another full-time gig. Right now, I kind of don’t care what I end up with as a full-time gig as long as it’s not boring because I’m heading back to school this fall at least part-time (if I can’t find a way to finance a full-time run of it). I still plan on keeping the business going while in school, though. And maybe that’s crazy, but I am a master at insane undertakings.

Halloween made five years sober. Yay. I made it into 2009 not in the hospital – which I wasn’t sure if I would be or not because I was fighting off a pretty nasty MRSA infection. In other medical news, I was diagnosed with RA after months of testing and re-testing and wondering what was going on with me. It’s painful, yes, when it flares. I’m trying to find a manner of pain management for the flare-ups that isn’t as crazy as what was first tried: methadone. I withdrew from that just before the MRSA attack – and probably picked up the MRSA in the hospital, as irony would have it.

I’m taking care of a friend of mine who is terminally ill with bullous pemphigoid, which is a rare disease. Very rare. She was taken to the Mayo Clinic when she was first diagnosed so that they could study her. Anyhow, that aside, I’m taking care of her because there’s nobody else to do it. Some days are good, some are bad. But that’s the way these things go. 

I got into a huge fight with Kevin. Meh. I’d explain part of it but right now if I did, I think my head would explode from frustration over the situation. Speaking of frustration, I’m still trying to help Leon out, but that’s not going so well. I hope that changes soon enough, though.

We’re moving soon and looking for a new place. Suggestions are welcome, although I think we’ve already settled on a place. We haven’t filled out the apartment applications or anything yet, so it’s not set in stone. If we go with the place I’m thinking we’ll go with, then we won’t need to get the gym memberships that we were thinking about because this place has a GREAT in-house gym, a sauna, a theraputic hot tub, tanning beds, a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE pool (part of which is heated!! T3h y4y!!), and more.

Life’s pretty quiet. All’s well between Steve and I. B’s moving to St. Louis (that’s the sad part) to get married (that’s the good part). I’ll miss him. He’s become more like a brother and less like a roommate.

I’d written a rant a few weeks ago which I still have saved in my "Drafts" folder, but somehow it seems irrelevant now. Meh.

I’m calling all angels.

Actually, what I’m doing is calling my prayer partners and praying with them before I call back. If this is what is meant to be, then it’ll happen. I’m praying for wisdom and for my Higher Power, for calming and peace. I’m praying that I’m shown where I’m supposed to be, that I be given direction, that this spirit of fear be removed. I’m praying for God’s perfect will, that the Lord will open doors that other men would shut. I’m praying for discernment. I’m praying for being led down the path that my Higher Power would have me.

Mama, Audi, Kevin, Mike in The Valley, Blanca, and Hendrik for praying with me over the phone and taking time out of your day to back me up. Thank you to those I e-mailed because I didn’t have your numbers fr praying for me and with me in regard to this, including, most especially, Eldon, Gary from Western Trails, Laticia, Angela, Terry, Mr. Rosson, Glen, Beryl, Chris, Chase, Reverend Larry, Brian, and everyone else.

Thank you to Hendrik for the business advice that you gave me. It really made a lot of sense and hit home. You’re right. I need to keep it simple, I need to be direct, and I need to be firm. Most of all, I need to not worry about it because if God wants me to have it, then I’ll have it. All I need to do is walk through the process as wisely as I can and let go and let God. We do the work, and God does the rest. It’s not up to me, it’s up to God.

I think I’m going to do a fear inventory over this before I call or e-mail anybody at Alfresco.

(ephemeral) 

My apologies to the folks who were kind enough to let me photograph them and/or their pets at Genuine Joe’s yesterday afternon and. I know that I promised that I would have the pictures up on the site shorty after I got home las night. However, I got home much later than anyone expected and, hence, it didn’t get done . . . yet, but it wil get a free moment and can find the mini-USB to USB cable that I thought was . . .

Oh, well, that’s okay. I’ve got several method I can use and they’re all readily available. One just requires installing some sotware on the Windows machine and then – ready, set, go! No biggie. Actually, it’s something I should’ve done quite some time ago.

However, they shall be up tody. Feel free to leave commens and remember to remind me as to which picture belongs to whom so I don’t send out the wrong picture to you!

(ephemeral) 

dis·hon·est

1. not honest; disposed to lie, cheat, or steal; not worthy of trust or belief
2. proceeding from or exhibiting lack of honesty; fraudulent
3. deceptive or fraudulent; disposed to cheat or defraud or deceive
4. characterized by lack of truth, honesty, or trustworthiness : unfair, deceptive

Don’t fuck with me or lie to my face, especially when: a) I’ve got proof from other sources – hard proof – that shows that you’re lying and b) I’ve got a witness that can prove that you’re either just a sadist and like to make people’s lives as miserable as possible or that you’re just incapable of telling the truth . . . or, in this case, probably both.

When you screw with me like this, to where not only my life is affected but the lives of others . . . to the point where you’re damaging my ability to work; to perform even the most minimal of tasks around  the house because I might succumb to narcolepsy while, oh, cooking, and burn down the house; to the point where I’m afraid to drive unless absolutely necessary because I feel like I might pose a threat to others should – God forbid! – anything happen; to the point where I’ve scared the holy living fuck out of my husband a few times because of this . . . and it’s because of your negligence, dishonesty, and irresponsibility, you’d better be ready for what comes next.

To qoute Eminem:

"No more games, I’m a change what you call rage. Tear this mothafuckin’ roof off like two dogs caged. I was playin’ in the beginning, the mood all changed. I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage. But I kept rhymin’ and stepwritin’ the next cypher. Best believe somebody’s payin’ the pied piper. All the pain inside amplified by the fact that I can’t get by with my nine to five and I can’t provide the right type of life for my family . . .  This is my life."

Don’t. Fuck. With. Me.

(ephemeral) 

Not only do I feel useless, but I feel like I’m pissing someone off without meaning to. Great. Watch me fail all over the fucking place.

True to addiction, huh? Everything gets going good and you find a way to tear it apart. You can’t have nice things.

There goes the committee. Spin, spin, sugar . . .

(ephemeral) 

Why am I here? I feel fucking useless.

Hooray for being useless, useless me. Gah, maybe I should just give this shit up completely. Why am I even trying?

Why?

IT’S MINE I GOT THE NAME!! IT’S MINE!! OMFGWTFBBQROGLMAOU812

The business name I  wanted wasn’t taken.

It’s on now, peeps. We are talking about all-out full-court press, yeah. Hahahahaha. D00d. W3rd to d4 m0th3r5h1p.

(ephemeral) 

It’s been an awesome weekend all the way around.

I got to pick some business brains, get stuff accomplished, and chill out. I got to hang out with Rob Landley for the first time in a long time, too, and catch up over coffee. We had a great coversation that was MUCH needed and some wicked stuff came out of it.

Hellz yeah.

And as if all that weren’t cake, the icing was mmmm mmmm mmmm . . . My hubby is beyond words. :)

How did I ever get it so damn good? 

(ephemeral) 

So, leaked information: Every badged Apple employee gets a free iPhone.

Now, this means a few things. While on the surface this appears cool, being a former Apple employee, let me give you a bit of background on the policies of Apple regarding gifts from the company. If they give you a  gift, like when the company handed out free iPod Shuffles to all badged employees a few days before their release date, sure, it might have seemed like an incredible gesture. But to those of us who already owned iPods and would’ve liked to have sold our Shuffles, well, per company policy on threat of getting terminated, we couldn’t do that for a year. Yep, one full year.

And with the iPhone working on four year old technology, not being capable of even achieving dial-up speeds, not being capable of true text messaging, and not being capable of what’s considered a few other standard features – or portability to another carrier other than Cingular/ATT, well . . . and the fact that when you get the phone you’re AUTOMATICALLY locked in to a two-year data service plan, which is kind of pricey because of the exclusive ‘deal’ that Apple has worked out with Cingular/ATT for the iPhone . . . and the fact that Apple and Cingular/ATT have an exclusivity agreement for five years, meaning a few other nasty things for purchasers, well, the iPhone isn’t looking so hot. Not to mention that the first release of the iPhone will become obsolete somewhere between September and December when the next model with vast improvements and developments is rolled out that’s supposed to blow the initial release model away completely. But we’ll see how THAT turns out . . . I haven’t researched that one enough yet.

But as much as I love Apple products – and TRUST ME, I’m a huge fan. I worked for the company as an AppleCare Technical Support representative because I loved the stuff and knew their products inside and out – this just seems to be a not-so-hot thing, sadly, at least in the initial concept. It seems to be a choice of style over performance and that strikes me as being unusual for Apple, really, where people have come to expect both coexisting in an almost Zen-like state.

But I do hold out hope that as the iPhone revolution continues that this whole thing will straighten itself out.

(ephemeral)

So I interviewed at Dell last week for what would be, quite possibly, my dream job. And I’m still in the running. I just called to check on the status of things and I found out they’re interviewing one last candidate and I’m still in the running. So, YEAH

(ephemeral)